Monday, November 15, 2010

Just Checking In Nov. 15th

I'm still here and just checking in to let you know that.  The Tea Leaves cardigan no longer exist except in photographs.  It has been completed and totally ripped out and all the yarn wrapped up into several functional balls.  The yarn is finding new life and purpose in a new pullover sweater.  This pullover, however, is not being done all in 1 piece, but it's being done in parts, a back, a front, and 2 sleeves, then sewn together. Wish me luck.  I have the back almost completed.  I'll blog about this soon with photos.

In the meanwhile, I've been trying to get ready for the holidays....just like everyone else, I suppose.  But, since losing my mom 3 months ago, I have been in this thick fog.  I'm physically and emotionally and spiritually exhausted beyond description.  When it comes to everyday things like the cooking, the cleaning and running errands, well, I feel like I'm doing them on auto-pilot.  I feel so completely and totally disconnected from everything and everybody.  I keep doing things just hoping that something kicks in with me and I reconnect somehow some way.  That's just the mudane everyday stuff.

So, here I am, trying to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I knew that it wouldn't be easy this year without my mom, so I tried getting a jump start on things.  Ha!  I've been trying to work on one room at a time in my small house.  I was making some progress, but there's only 1 of me and 3 of them (teenagers) and a hubby and a dog.  They all have an aversion to a blank slate or a bare spot in any given room.  As soon as I get one room cleaned up and straightened up....they come along and mess up.  Sigh.  I guess, since it's not the day before the big holiday and I'm not running around the house like crazy and babbling like some sort of mad woman trying to get the entire house clean all at one is taking me seriously about trying to get ready for the holidays.

Thank the Lord that my Mom did teach me how to knit.  Sometimes, it's the only solace I can find.  Thanks for listening. 


Karen said...

I understand your frustration with trying to keep a house that is both relaxing and neat. I deal with the same sort of thing. Do what you can. Don't worry about the rest. Take care of yourself.

Debby said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our son last year in a car accident and the holidays were very painful. Shortly after Christmas my daughter in law and I attended a Griefshare class for 13 weeks. It helped in some ways learn to deal with the ever present pain and how to move forward. Not move on, move forward. That was one of the first things we learned. The second that I remember is just do the next thing. Don't think too far in advance, just the next thing. The Griefshare is all over. They have a web site if you're interested in a group in your area. They also have seminars for surviving the holidays. Praying for you.

Hopscotch Cardi x 3!